Call To Perfection by Ruth Holmes
I’m poppin’ antacids like they’re dusted in crack
A girl so young now getting panic attacks.
It’s the stress of tomorrow that’s doing me in
my engine's on go but my wheels just won't spin
yesterday’s gone but tomorrow won't come
Why have I worked so hard, to have it all be undone.
I got the good grades and I worked through the night
Thinking the end of this tunnel would I find my light.
Now I can't close my eyes cause the dark's gone too black.
I want so bad to return, but I just can't go back.
I see the days of my youth are so quick slipping past.
&& my own immortality just can not last.
The world calls me crazy, && I’m loosing all hope.
What is now my own noose used to just be a rope.
It’s just the edge was so thin, was too easy to fall
But at some point or another every girl gets that call.
That call to perfection, Need to please all the crowds.
but the doubt and self hatred’s just getting too loud.
I can’t calm the voices, always egging me on.
&& I can’t shake the feeling my life’s gone all wrong.
You’re a failure, not pretty, just another 10 pounds.
I have given up everything to silence that sound.
My health is in ruins, my life is a joke.
I’ve looked to the drink, to the pill, && the smoke.
Yet his voice is still there, and still clear as the day.
&& I’m finding a loss at the right thing to say.
How to explain I don’t care if one day I’ll be missed?
That dying to be thin really is my last wish!
I say I want change, that life is the goal.
But my heart says it’s ed’s way && that’s just how I roll.
I really do want to accept what I see.
to find all that beauty they say lies in me.
But the truth is I’m tired && this journey seems long.
&& even my right steps seem to go wrong.
I can’t find the answer && I know what they say.
"Miss Holmes, your daughter won’t live one more day."
A girl so young now getting panic attacks.
It’s the stress of tomorrow that’s doing me in
my engine's on go but my wheels just won't spin
yesterday’s gone but tomorrow won't come
Why have I worked so hard, to have it all be undone.
I got the good grades and I worked through the night
Thinking the end of this tunnel would I find my light.
Now I can't close my eyes cause the dark's gone too black.
I want so bad to return, but I just can't go back.
I see the days of my youth are so quick slipping past.
&& my own immortality just can not last.
The world calls me crazy, && I’m loosing all hope.
What is now my own noose used to just be a rope.
It’s just the edge was so thin, was too easy to fall
But at some point or another every girl gets that call.
That call to perfection, Need to please all the crowds.
but the doubt and self hatred’s just getting too loud.
I can’t calm the voices, always egging me on.
&& I can’t shake the feeling my life’s gone all wrong.
You’re a failure, not pretty, just another 10 pounds.
I have given up everything to silence that sound.
My health is in ruins, my life is a joke.
I’ve looked to the drink, to the pill, && the smoke.
Yet his voice is still there, and still clear as the day.
&& I’m finding a loss at the right thing to say.
How to explain I don’t care if one day I’ll be missed?
That dying to be thin really is my last wish!
I say I want change, that life is the goal.
But my heart says it’s ed’s way && that’s just how I roll.
I really do want to accept what I see.
to find all that beauty they say lies in me.
But the truth is I’m tired && this journey seems long.
&& even my right steps seem to go wrong.
I can’t find the answer && I know what they say.
"Miss Holmes, your daughter won’t live one more day."
