Emily, 21
I have always been bigger I guess. Or what I perceived as bigger. Even at 11 I was so self-conscious. The bullies didn't help in school either. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 11 years old. I wasn't too concerned at the time, I just did not understand the seriousness of the condition also my Nanna had it and she seemed fine. I had a great honeymoon period but then they let me have snacks and treats. I started taking more insulin so I could binge on what my friends were eating, which obviously led to serious weight gain. When I hit 15-16 years old, I went through my rebel stage of "running away" from home, denying my parents everything, avoiding everything. Unfortunately, my Nanna died in 2007, mainly due to the complications of her diabetes, it felt like watching my own death and I still mourn her passing as we were very close. From there it went downhill completely, from a abusive relationship and the onset of my diabulimia. I remembered the amount of weight I lost before I was diagnosed, and the compliments I got. So I just stopped my insulin. It didn't take long for DKA to take effect but I would take insulin at the brink of it all. One time, I was 16, my friends came to check on me one day as my parents were away on holiday, they found me unconscious, hardly breathing, dying. The doctor said another hour I would have been dead. I was in a coma for a couple of days and had to learn to walk all over again after being bed ridden for over a week. They told me they had to resuscitate me and that I'm lucky to be alive. My mind set was "Well, at least I'll be skinny". I was discharged, and continued not taking my insulin. I'd go for almost weeks without an injection. The weight melted and the compliments came, but the damage was not worth it. I had no energy. By this time I was in college, so my grades were awful. I couldn't get up the stairs without stopping and resting for a little. I would get through 12 cans of diet cola in 2 hours or less. Constantly thirsty, constantly urinating, constantly tired. My friends had left because I was horrible; I was still in the abusive relationship (in which he encouraged the insulin abuse) I still wonder if my parents even knew what I was going through. It was, without a doubt the WORST time in my life so far.
I thought there was no hope. BUT. When I was 19, I got into a relationship with Thomas, my brothers friend. I confessed to him a few weeks in about what I was doing to myself and he listened. He wanted to help. As much as I wanted to make him happy, my mind wasn't as generous and I ended up in hospital again weeks later with a severe kidney infection and DKA. Tom came to visit every day. The worry and upset in his face made me WANT to beat it. We got engaged and married in 2010. After that it was up and down for a while and I would have good months and bad months, but I was getting there. A year later, I was almost 21, they told me I have cataracts and kidney damage, the nurse also gave me a good reality shock and the one person I thought about, the one person who I thought would suffer from all this, was Tom. Luckily, the damage is/was minimal and reversible with good control! From then on I really wanted to be better. So Tom would be better. I was tired of him looking after me. It wasn't fair. He bore the weight of me being ill all the time, I couldn't go anywhere, do anything. He stood by me through it all. After I told him my results that day he got angry and upset, from then on he asked to see me do my injections everyday. He was harsh, but he had to be. He hated it, but he knew I needed it. I found some of the support networks online, such as DWED, and the support and awareness that were started didn't make me feel so alone, I was never without someone to talk to. It made me feel like I had the world cheering me on! After a while, when the bloating faded I started to feel amazing. There are no words for how amazing the feeling is. It's like stepping out into the warm sunlight, after being in the cold dark for years. It was truly amazing. My body could do more; Tom and me could do more as a couple. I have gone back to school to do Access to Health Professions, in hope I can become a counselor for young diabetics. I can now be a better Wife, sister, daughter, friend, and now a mother. After all the abuse I put my body through, I have managed to get pregnant (Due October 7th 2012!). It was a shock because it was something I had convinced myself I could never do; it shows how powerful our bodies truly are! It's never too late to change! I can't explain to you enough how beautiful it is to pull through. Recovery is definitely more beautiful than what clothes size you fit into. Life is just too short to worry about something as meaningless as shapes and sizes. I could give you all sorts of sayings and phrases, nothing will amount to the pride of when a doctor asks, "Is your diabetes controlled" and you can say, "YES!" I wish each and every one of you strength, luck and good health. You can do it!
I thought there was no hope. BUT. When I was 19, I got into a relationship with Thomas, my brothers friend. I confessed to him a few weeks in about what I was doing to myself and he listened. He wanted to help. As much as I wanted to make him happy, my mind wasn't as generous and I ended up in hospital again weeks later with a severe kidney infection and DKA. Tom came to visit every day. The worry and upset in his face made me WANT to beat it. We got engaged and married in 2010. After that it was up and down for a while and I would have good months and bad months, but I was getting there. A year later, I was almost 21, they told me I have cataracts and kidney damage, the nurse also gave me a good reality shock and the one person I thought about, the one person who I thought would suffer from all this, was Tom. Luckily, the damage is/was minimal and reversible with good control! From then on I really wanted to be better. So Tom would be better. I was tired of him looking after me. It wasn't fair. He bore the weight of me being ill all the time, I couldn't go anywhere, do anything. He stood by me through it all. After I told him my results that day he got angry and upset, from then on he asked to see me do my injections everyday. He was harsh, but he had to be. He hated it, but he knew I needed it. I found some of the support networks online, such as DWED, and the support and awareness that were started didn't make me feel so alone, I was never without someone to talk to. It made me feel like I had the world cheering me on! After a while, when the bloating faded I started to feel amazing. There are no words for how amazing the feeling is. It's like stepping out into the warm sunlight, after being in the cold dark for years. It was truly amazing. My body could do more; Tom and me could do more as a couple. I have gone back to school to do Access to Health Professions, in hope I can become a counselor for young diabetics. I can now be a better Wife, sister, daughter, friend, and now a mother. After all the abuse I put my body through, I have managed to get pregnant (Due October 7th 2012!). It was a shock because it was something I had convinced myself I could never do; it shows how powerful our bodies truly are! It's never too late to change! I can't explain to you enough how beautiful it is to pull through. Recovery is definitely more beautiful than what clothes size you fit into. Life is just too short to worry about something as meaningless as shapes and sizes. I could give you all sorts of sayings and phrases, nothing will amount to the pride of when a doctor asks, "Is your diabetes controlled" and you can say, "YES!" I wish each and every one of you strength, luck and good health. You can do it!